Friday, January 4, 2008

an adoption testimony


I am the mother of 11,
two came to me thru God thru international adoption.
We did much that the experts advised against when it came to adding to our family thru adoption. We adopted out of birth order and we adopted two unrelated children at once. Plus, our children were not newborns when they came home, they were 1.5 and pushing 5.
Our adjustment was hard.
Aside from the physical maladies our children came home with, malnourishment, parasites, giardia etc
they both came carrying a lot of emotional baggage.
Our sweet daughter, who was 4 yrs 8 months,
absolutely HATED me. She figured she was JUST FINE in Haiti. The orphanage life was all she knew. Haiti was all she knew.
Here I came and took her away from all that was familiar,
this white Amercian stranger,
and I took her to a whole new world, where people looked different, spoke a different language and her whole like was turned upside down.
She was EXTREMELY rebellious and defiant at first. She fought me emotionally and physically. She ran away from me, she tried so hard to press my buttons and do everything she possibly could to test me, temper tantrums were constant.
The 1 and a half yr old was broken and scared to death. He just clung to me and wouldnt let me go, but when I tried to love him he would scream and push me away. He was emotionally,
more like a 6 month old in many ways. He didnt know how to walk yet when he came home. He was very sick physically with parasites and giardia. He was totally afraid of caucasion people and thrust into a world were that is all he had. He was confused and grieving.
Our first 3 months were really touch and go. It was hard on me, my solid marriage and my whole family. I often prayed "Lord, what have we done???!"
The next 3 months were also hard. I just wanted everything to get back to normal. Around this time we went on a family camping trip. It was probably the hardest thing I ever did. The children totally broke down and this was the moment that I was at the end of my rope,
crying out
"I can NOT do this!!!"
But after that weekend it got easier. Little by little, landmark by landmark, milestone by milestone. We started to grow together as a family and fall in love and bond. Never was our adjustment all rosy and easy. never. But, when has God ever asked me to do anything easy for Him?
Now, years later, these children are as much mine as those that grew in my womb. We have been through so much together and we love, trust and respect each other. My now 9 yr old dd is such a help to me. She would do absolutely anything for me, her beloved mama. She is such a highly intelligent, sensitive and special human. Our 6 yr old son is the most affectionate, cuddly and intellegent boy around. He commands attention where ever he goes with his huge smile. People are just drawn to him .
I look at my two children and can not imagine this family wwithout them. Our 8 yr old bio son does not remember life before them. He and his 9yr old sister are as close as twins.
I look at them and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my daughter would not be alive today if she were not brought out of Haiti (she was so severely malnourished and close to death when brought to the missionary).
My son would either have died from childhood sicknesses,
or if he were still alive he wouldnt be the vibrant happy go lucky guy I know. He was so starving for love and neglected when he came to me.
These children are wonderful special gifts to this family. And they have an important purpose on earth. God obviously has a special plan for them to spare them from almost cetain death in the country of their birth. What an honor for this family to see what God has planned for them! What an honor to be used by God and to be a part of that plan.
In my way of looking at it,
adopting these hurt little human souls is something that I, as a Christian,
am commanded to do.
I liken my children to the beaten man, left on the side of the road to die by the thieves in the parable of the good Samaritan.
Children are left to die all over the world on a daily basis. I have heard stories from the missionary in Haiti that we adopted from, and from a missionary friend who lives in China
of having to literally step over dead babies in the street gutters in those countries. The missionary we adopted from has also found babies near death in garbage piles. Some she was able to save, others have died in her hands. I know these same stories are repeated all over the world and missionaries in Africa and other countries also deal with these types of tragedies all the time.
Sure it is easy in our rich country,
with our blessed lives to just not pay any attention to this. We need to stop turning our backs,
or thinking that we are too small to do anything to help. If each of us does one small thing to try and change the world our many small acts WILL make a difference. Granted,
I cant save the world,
but if I can help one child than I made a difference.
This isnt about *me* or about whether or not this was difficult or pleasant or all rosy and happy. This is about life and death.
We who are able must protect the meek.

1 comment:

mommaof4coolkiddos said...

wow Jill you had me crying my eyes out i have a headache now that is just so horrible about dead babies all over the place i just can not even imagine that at all i mean how do people there ever get "used" to seeing that??? I'm so glad you got your kids out of there and they are doing awesome now!!!